Linebacker Shoulders - 2/16/17

The weather was SLIGHTLY better for another trek to Syracuse this morning. BUT my MRI was not a success. We did a "dry run" of the MRI at Upstate's Community Hospital and it was not at all successful.
If you've had a breast MRI before you might be able to follow along, if not you need to use some imagination...
This is an old MRI. It was yellowed plastic and the tube your body goes in is tiny and it looked like there was some loose seam tape dangling, but the gentleman, Mike, helping me was extremely kind. There is a tilted chest plate with 2 holes for your boobies to dangle through, a face pad for you to rest your head on and the chest plate is elevated about 6-8" off the table that slides your body into the tube.
We attempted our first "dry run," as Mike called it, with my gown still on and he slowly slid me into the tube, I thought 'this is fairly comfortable', similar to a massage table, except for the boob holes (but massage tables might want to think about incorporating those because it was more comfortable). Then my shoulder hit the top of the tube...
Mike stopped, slid me back out and apologized profusely for the machine, saying "this happens all the time."
Dude, I know these machines are expensive, and I'm an overweight linebacker, but I think it's time for an upgrade!
Mike said we were going to try it one more time, all the while some random employee stood silently smiling a little too much with an "I told you so" look on her face. I was told to take a few deep breaths and reach my hands further over my head...this time the top of my shoulder just brushed, but by my shoulder blade I was wedging into the tube.
Back that lady out before she gets stuck like Winnie the Pooh going in and out of Rabbit's burrow!
Anyhow, lots of apologies later and phone calls to other offices and the Nurse Practitioner at the Numann Center, who is an intense hoot of a lady, promised me a spot back at their office complex first thing (earlier than first thing) in the morning with a different MRI, plus the ability to meet with the radiologist to do any further tests right then and there.
Mike was so nice, he led us back through the hospital to the Wellspring Breast Center where I would have the lymph node biopsy and Mike stopped in to beg a plead with someone to do an MRI for me before the biopsy. He was too softspoken and sweet, not like Tammy the NP who sounds like quite the pit bull when it comes to scheduling (kind of reminds me of my coworker Karen ;) so no MRI today.
Anyways I was an hour and a half early for this appointment but they still took me in. I had to be pulled aside and shown the ties for my gown hanging on my butt because I was just wandering around holding the damn thing shut. I had searched for ties, but hadn't found them. After quite a few minutes of deep breathing exercises to keep myself from crying in the waiting room I was called back by yet another SUPER nice nurse.
I forgot to tell you I had a Valium tablet in my purse I was supposed to take when I was done with the MRI because I was pretty anxious about the biopsy. My fear was related to the pain (this time we were going to try something other than lidocaine) and the "gun" they use to take the tissue sample startles me (I have a fear of balloons, guns and any loud abrupt noises - I tweak out). Well with the hubbub of the screwed up MRI I left that pill in the waiting room with Ben, and then convinced myself it was too late anyway to take it, I told myself if I took it now I would still be nervous and jerky for the biopsy, but then drooling and nonsensical on the ride home. Plus I had taken an L-Theanine supplement to help with the nerves earlier that morning.
I did freak out!
One node sampled. Not too bad.
"Your nodes are lower than you would think" - Must be those misplaced nipples told the lymph nodes that the weather was better down south...
Digging deeper for a lower node...OUCH! Snap Snap...me jerking and blubbering on the bed. The radiologist was super nice, as was the nurse who's hand I was clawing. I guess they think they went deeper than the numbing medicine and eventually I calmed down so they could put in their twisty metal marker so the biopsy site will show up on imaging.
I survived, no valium!
The radiologist, who coached my breathing to help me stop wiggling while I blubbered, explained that the pain made my emotions about everything come flooding in, nerves about the procedure, confusion and sadness about the diagnosis and the unknowns of it all. I felt less like an idiot and more like a brave linebacker, I weathered the biopsy, and came head to head, or shoulder to tube with an MRI machine.

So today is done, tomorrow an MRI, hopefully, and more bright spots.
A few bright spots glimmered throughout the day and just after we got home my dear co-worker had fixed a bunch of lights in our milking parlor so you need sunglasses to milk cows now. Plus a farm employee was willing to cut her date night short to come milk tomorrow morning so Ben can drive Miss Daisy to Syracuse again.

I promise shorter posts soon, but it's quiet in the house with Ben at the barn and the kids are staying with Grandma and Grandpa since we have to leave before dawn, so writing on the computer is a pretty relaxing gig.

Put on your pads and play like a linebacker!